
What started as an innocent date night ended on a completely unexpected note.
I went to a comedy show, my first that wasnāt queer, since coming out over four years ago. I was hoping for some light relief.
And look, Iām no stranger to comedy. I spent the best part of my early twenties working in entertainment TV, at āLive at The Apolloā and āAlan Carr: Chatty Manā.
Yet I had never felt as nervous as I did that night. From the moment I set foot in the venue to sit in the second row, I began nervously pulling apart the thread from my scarf.
I stared at the floor, hoping to go unnoticed as anxiety ran through my mind. I was terrified of being exposed and ridiculed in front of a seemingly cis-het audience.
My partner reassured me by clutching my hand and placing it in her lap. I did my best to ease up and enjoy the show. But my fears came true.
A joke about trans people. The devastating roar of laughter. As I got up to leave, the āTā word was then hurled toward me.
Raising awareness of this incident online has encouraged me. Iāve thankfully had overwhelming support from trans allies. But it also saw all kinds of people defend the comedianās right to tell the joke.
Sound familiar? Itās not long since the Dave Chappelle Netflix special that sparked a backlash of protests by trans activists and employees.
Chapelle argued, "content on screen doesn't directly translate to real-world harmā. And yet, transphobic hate crime has quadrupled since 2015 in the UK alone.
Normalising transphobia undoubtedly perpetuates discrimination and is spilling out onto the streets in the form of violent attacks.
As a friend recently told me, the rules of comedy should be simple: āpunch up, not down.ā Indeed, more and more comedians are considering āpunching downā to be lazy and outdated.
The following weekend I attended Zoe Lyonās āBent Doubleā, a monthly queer-friendly comedy night in Brighton. The lineup of comics had me howling.
I felt at ease and left feeling better than I did before it started. And what was it proof of? You donāt have to be cruel to be funny.
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