Many countries, including the UK, still have archaic marriage laws that can be traced back to the 19th century. And in some countries, there are remnants of ‘conjugal rights’ which set expectations on sex in marriage, and were occasionally used to justify sexual assault.
In the UK this has been outlawed since 1991, but consummation laws do still exist. They mean that a marriage can be annulled if vaginal intercourse has not taken place after the ceremony – apart from in same-sex marriages.
Though marital rape has been illegal in France since 1990, the country’s legislature has recently made a powerful step towards challenging the notion that sex is a legal expectation within marriage – a decision that will benefit women in particular.
But it will also have a powerful impact for asexual and aromantic people.
What did the law say in France, and how is it changing?
Currently, the French civil code defines the duties of marriage as “respect, fidelity, support and assistance," and it says that couples commit themselves to a "community of living.”
Although the code does not explicitly mention ‘conjugal’ – i.e. sexual – rights, the phrase ‘community of living’ is largely understood to include sexual relations, a notion which dates back to medieval church law. This popular interpretation even means that a lack of sex has been used as a ‘fault’ or cause for divorce.
In 2019, an appeals court dismissed a woman’s complaints and found in favour of her husband's view that withholding sex from him was grounds for a "fault-based" divorce, implying guilt on her part. It was not until the woman took her case to the European Court of Human Rights (ECHR), that France was condemned for their ruling.
France’s Green MP Marie-Charlotte Garin – who sponsored the bill – has said that “By allowing such a right or duty to persist, we are collectively giving our approval to a system of domination and predation by husband on wife.”
Nathalie Tomasini, a lawyer specialising in women’s rights, says the articles of the Civil Code are being “amended to reflect the reality” that “marriage does not entail a default obligation for spouses to engage in sexual relations.” Justice Minister Gérald Darmanin acknowledged the ruling of the ECHR and pledged to update French legislation to “go in the direction of history.”
The change comes at a time when France is looking closely at this area of law after the trial of Gisèle Pelicot’s attackers. Pelicot was a victim of sexual assault by multiple men, at the invitation of her husband.
How does this change also better support asexual rights?
Asexual people are one of the LGBTQIA+ groups most vulnerable to experiencing ‘corrective rape’ (Galop 2022) and conversion practices (National LGBT Survey 2018), which have no scientific basis and are known to cause more harm.
This legal change in France is a poignant example of how the country’s culture is beginning to reevaluate what makes marriage ‘legitimate’.
Both societally and legally, the legitimacy of asexual marriages has been questioned in recent years – it’s become something of a right-wing talking point.
In response to the Biden administration’s Respect for Marriages Act (2022), which requires the US government and all US states and territories to recognize the validity of same-sex and interracial civil marriages. 83 Christian nationality groups - led by the Alliance Defending Freedom - called for Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell to block the Act because it opens the door to “marriage without parameters.” As with many anti-LGBTQIA+ sentiments and opposition to equal marriage rhetoric, it likened the shift as a ‘slippery slope’ to other acts modern societies have determined are unacceptable.
However, they also used platonic marriages as another example of harm to society.
Challenging the societal standard that not having sex is a problem would be a positive for everyone. Sex is not the only, ‘ultimate’ expression of love or attraction within a marriage – or outside of it.
In reevaluating the meaning of ‘community of living,’ we also place more importance on other forms of building a family within a marriage or what community can legally mean. Sex no longer has to be a crucial component.
France bringing this conversation to the forefront might push other countries to consider similar changes. We’d all benefit from a stronger recognition of individual needs, and for some - whether asexual or not - that may be best reflected in an understanding that sex is not necessarily an essential part of marriage.
Get the Queer Gaze in your inbox each week with our free weekly newsletter or pitch to write an edition for us now.
We deserve good news too.
When there is so much hate out there, it's easy to get swept up in the doom.
QueerAF doesn't do that. We sprinkle in the joy that is the lifeblood of why being LGBTQIA+ is so simply wonderful.
And in the newsletter where this was first published, there was actually a bunch of positive news to celebrate. It shows me that despite the headlines knocking us down, we're getting right back up again and using our anger to fuel our fight.
While the rest of the media cashes in on hate about us, we can focus on queer joy - because you drive us. The community. QueerAF readers - not advertisers.
Our members directly fund our content. When you sign up, you get to have your say on how your funds are used. On what content we should commission.
But we turn down advertising and sponsorships in this newsletter so we can focus on delivering on content for you, not just clicks. That's why we need you to sign up to become a QueerAF member.
You'll join hundreds of awesome queer as f**k members who ensure we can keep our unique approach to queer content happen. If you want to see the media cover more stories about the joy in our lives - please, consider a membership. We can't run our outlet without you.
