Christmas can be a hard time of year for LGBTQIA+ folk.
Perhaps your family misgender you to ‘avoid upsetting Grandpa’. Maybe going home isn’t even an option, or, as depicted in Sex Education, your church may cut you out of events because you came out.
Or maybe you’re just joining the growing number of people sick of how commercialised it all feels.
Instead of being haunted by ghosts of Christmas past, how can we create Christmas in a queer image?
We can start with the knowledge that the specific difficulties queer people face are part of a growing set of issues in wider society. That can be scary - but it means we’re not alone in struggling with the holiday season.
A study by King’s College London last year discovered that the number of people spending Christmas alone had doubled from 5% to 11% since 1969. For 21 to 34-year-olds, this was true for one in 11, a major increase from one in 100 in 1969.
This has an acute queer context to consider too. Almost half of young LGBTQIA+ adults have no contact with at least one family member in the UK.
These stats confirm what our lived experience already tells us to be true: that our concerns over bad family reactions to queerness are sadly all too common. And it’s not been made any better by the surge in anti-LGBTQIA+ language and rhetoric in recent years.
But what our community’s history shows us is that when spaces aren’t safe for us, we have the power to walk away from these environments and create our own. So, what are we walking towards this festive season?
Like me, you might find this Christmas financially difficult amid the cost-of-living crisis. If you’re in a similar situation, then why not take a look at renting DVDs from the library – there are plenty of queer festive films. I’ll be watching Happiest Season (2020), which centres around the challenges of bringing your secret girlfriend home to meet your parents. And I’ll never turn down the chance to watch the ever-wonderful Carol (2015) and many more films centred around our unique queer experiences of Christmas.
We can also buy our chosen family gifts from independent stalls at Christmas fairs, rather than feeling compelled to spend with brands that don’t have our interests at heart.
As for traditions outside the home, let’s not ignore Christmas drag shows - including but not limited to panto. We have always had our place in this very camp season.
Halloween is often considered ‘Gay Christmas’, a holiday of niche cultural references and gender-affirming costumes that serves as an outlet for creativity and self-expression. We can create purpose, community and joy around that holiday - and we can take those lessons into the weeks ahead.
Christmas is known for being a season of love and generosity, and there’s no reason anyone should be excluded from that. We are entitled to enjoy our Christmas in peace without repressing our true selves.
We owe it to ourselves as a community this Christmas to be each other’s families when our own miss the mark.
We deserve good news too.
When there is so much hate out there, it's easy to get swept up in the doom.
QueerAF doesn't do that. We sprinkle in the joy that is the lifeblood of why being LGBTQIA+ is so simply wonderful.
And in the newsletter where this was first published, there was actually a bunch of positive news to celebrate. It shows me that despite the headlines knocking us down, we're getting right back up again and using our anger to fuel our fight.
While the rest of the media cashes in on hate about us, we can focus on queer joy - because you drive us. The community. QueerAF readers - not advertisers.
Our members directly fund our content. When you sign up, you get to have your say on how your funds are used. On what content we should commission.
But we turn down advertising and sponsorships in this newsletter so we can focus on delivering on content for you, not just clicks. That's why we need you to sign up to become a QueerAF member.
You'll join hundreds of awesome queer as f**k members who ensure we can keep our unique approach to queer content happen. If you want to see the media cover more stories about the joy in our lives - please, consider a membership. We can't run this newsletter without you.
